The Neighbour from Hell (part 1)

Old work file

Artwork by Enrique Cropper

Why sit there thinking of the past
Recounting empty days, gone past, hé hé hé (Becaud)

“Another grey day in Brussels. Yes, a typical Belgian summer, eh” chuntered one nameless colleague to another, as the lift made its way to the 9th floor.

The doors opened with a light ‘ching’. A quick ‘Bonne journée‘ was exchanged and each set off to their respective offices.

George had grown so accustomed to hearing such comments that he had only been able to contribute to the conversation with a polite smile. After all, the Belgian weather had never held him back in his 32-year career (33 in September, to be precise) in the European Regulatory Authority. Quite the contrary.

  1. Never too hot to interfere with his short walk to and from the lovely station of La Hulpe to catch his daily train.
  2. Never too cold to freeze up the transport network entirely and cause him, pointlessly, to miss a day in the office.
  3. Just the right climatic zone for ascending the European civil service and, as his superior put it in his first career assessment exercise, ‘fulfilling his evident potential’ in his preferred area of expertise in financial regulatory policy.

George made his way along the corridor to his office, passing the humming fuse box and the charmless ‘Archive 9D’ he referred to as ‘my immediate neighbour‘ just next door to his office, switched on his computer and logged in, as was his daily habit and obligation. Arrival time: 8.15 a.m.

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Posted in Big Bad Neighbour, Mark, Observing Brussels | Leave a comment

Ma main droite

Depuis quelques temps, j’ai des disputes avec ma main droite.

Elle m’a accusé de la tromper avec ma main gauche. Elle l’a toujours vue comme une rivale. J’entends encore ses récriminations : « Mais qu’a-t-elle de plus que moi ? Est-elle plus belle, plus mince, plus grande que moi ? Plus jeune ? » J’avais beau dire, elle n’écouta aucun argument. Allez raisonner une main droite ! Continue reading

Posted in Big Bad Neighbour, Yves | Leave a comment

Kim and Cactuses

 

KIM AND CACTUSES

August, 2100

Illustration: @Enrique Cropper 

Kim came out of the house the moment the great orange disc of the sun disappeared beyond the horizon. The neighbourhood of Ixelles was silent; the whole town of Brussels grew silent in the past decades, during which she turned from a young girl to a young woman. Now, she walked out with a sharp knife and a big 5 litter glass jar. Continue reading

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Je vous connais mieux que vous ne me connaissez

Vers la fin de la matinée, le téléphone d’Alice s’est mis à sonner. Elle était en pleine réunion de travail à l’hôpital où elle travaillait comme psychologue. Voyant que c’était son mari, elle a répondu sans hésiter une seconde.
‒ Je suis aux urgences. On va m’opérer.
Simon paraissait étonnamment calme vu le drame qui lui arrivait.
‒ J’arrive tout de suite ! s’est exclamée Alice, effrayée. Dans sa panique, elle est sortie de la salle de réunion sans un mot d’explication et s’est précipitée aux urgences. Continue reading

Posted in Big Bad Neighbour, Veronika | 1 Comment

Vivir abajo

Photo by Jonathan Eden-Drummond

Ooms. Como el sonido que se hace mientras se juntan tres dedos de cada mano con los brazos abiertos cuando quiere uno imitar la postura de meditación para indicarle a alguien que debe mantener la calma, pero con “s” final, como si se tratara de meditaciones múltiples, o como si se necesitara una serenidad superlativa. Ooms, así se llamaba el hombrecito de pelo blanco y ralo que vivía en el piso de abajo.

Debía de tener al menos ochenta años, lo mismo que su mujer, menuda como él y, en mi recuerdo, vestida eternamente con una bata floreada.

Nosotros éramos muy jóvenes y acabábamos de empezar nuestra vida juntos en esa especie de departamento, tan frecuente en Bélgica pero al que yo todavía no me acostumbraba, en que la distribución de las piezas se hace según el capricho del propietario que alquila y que el inquilino -se supone- debe aceptar sin chistar. La ducha, una cabina de plástico, en la cocina. El toilette, en un rincón al lado de la ventana que daba al jardín de abajo, muy lejos del dormitorio al que se accedía saliendo del departamento y subiendo por la escalera al piso de arriba. El piso, de vinil amarillo, cortado un poco a la que te criaste. Continue reading

Posted in Big Bad Neighbour, Dulce | Leave a comment