– “Right, you hold it here and I’ll go around it.”

– “I can’t see where your hand is, it’s too dark. Why don’t we do this during the day?”

– “You know why, we have to be discreet. It’s our own private guerrilla I told you. I don’t want to jeopardise our anonymity. We’re bringing happiness back to the city!”

– “Are you sure it’s going to bring happiness?”

– “Why else would we be doing it, stupid?”

– “I don’t know. It’s just that it doesn’t seem right now that we’re here.”

– “It’s too late to change your mind. We’ve got to get this done before the morning traffic starts. Hold this tread.”

– “Isn’t it too tight?”

– “It’s never tight enough. Remember what happened to Frank’s? He was the neighbourhood’s joke after that…. It slipped like an old grandma’s panty hose…the shame I tell you…”

– “But aren’t we’re hurting it? See! You’re scraping it with each stitch you make.”

– “I know what I’m doing, stop being a sissy. Shine your phone’s flashlight on it so I can see what I’m doing.”

 

– “Sam it’s starting to rain.”

– “I can see that thank you. What do you want me to do about it?”

– “Well shouldn’t we stop? The ink from the wool is running all over your fingers look! Soon it will be all over the bark too.”

– “And?”

– “Isn’t dye toxic? I mean it’s definitely made of chemicals, it’s probably not a good idea to be in contact with it for too long, especially when it’s runny like this.”

– “You are such a moron… I can’t believe you could actually say or think that….Why did I ask you to do this with me…. Hold this part instead of speaking rubbish. We need four hands to do this otherwise it’s going to slip to the ground.”

Crack.

– “What did you that for?”

– “How do you want me to keep it around it with that branch in the way?”

– “But you’ve made a wound in its side, look!”

–  “Jesus! Who cares, it’s going to be covered up anyway by this blue patch.” … “Get down there’s a car coming.”… “Ok they didn’t see us. Get up and help me finish; we can’t stay very much longer.”

–  “The wool is too thin now that it’s soaked, I can barely pass it through the last hole.”

– “Give it to me, you’re helpless! Dam you’re right. It won’t hold, it’s too wet and stringy …Ok get the rope out of my rucksack, we’re going to tie it tight around the foot of the tree.”

– “Here. How do you want to this?”

– “Around and a knot, come on you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to do this!”

– “Ok ok, hold it, hold it…there!”

– “You’re joking right? It’s never going to hold, you need to make it tighter, so close to the bark it can grow over it!”

– “Well isn’t it going to hurt it and…”

– “Shut it! I’ve had it with you! Not one more word, this is the last time I take you with me on one of my artistic missions. Bloody hell! Ok take my phone and go to the other side of the road, I want you to take a picture of me in front of my creation.”

He crosses the street.

– “Ok, smile!”

He crosses back, shows him the picture.

–  “Yes! This tree has now been officially reclaimed!”

– “It feels like it was its own all along you know…”

– “I’m not going to loose any time explaining this to someone who’s too tick to get it. Show me the pic again.” ….. “It looks great; this is my best one yet!”

– “Mmmh”

– “What do you mean by: mmmmmh?”

– “To me it looks like you’re posing in front of wet sock but hey…but who am I to know what’s best for a tree right?”